Blonde Jokes
by HummingMe
Summary: Matt found some blonde jokes on the internet and looks at Mello
1. Chapter 1

Matt was surfing the net and found some blonde jokes.

Mello was sleeping that time.

And Matt was laughing his ass off. He kept looking at Mello whenever he finished reading a joke.

Matt read a joke:

_On day a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven._

_God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven._

_So the redhead made it to the 45th step and laughed._

_The brunette made it to the 200th step and laughed._

_But the blonde made it to the 999th step and laughed even before god told his joke._

_God asked "Why did you laugh I haven't even told the joke yet"_

_The blonde said "I know I just now got the first one!"_

He looked at Mello and thought: 'Maybe that's why he didn't get the jokes I told him, ha-ha.'

But Matt's jokes were all about … goggles.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

_Okay, just enjoy the joke and forget anything else. _

_Joke source: thejokeyard . com_


	2. Chapter 2

Mello woke up and saw Matt was laughing while looking at the internet.

"What are you doing?"

"Reading jokes. Now, read this." Matt showed Mello a joke.

_Well hidden Blonde:_

_There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette._

_They all decided to go to the bar and they got fake ids cause they were underage._

_So they go in and the bartender knows they are underage so he call the cops._

_The readhead informs the girls that the bartender has called the cops and they have to leave._

_So they go out the back door and they see this barn._

_They go inside and the redhead notices 3 potato sacks on the floor._

_See tells the girls to each hide in a potato sack._

_Then the police arrive in the bar, and the bartender takes them out back to look around._

_They go into the barn and look everywhere._

_One cop says "They might be in those potato sacks"._

_So he kicks the first one containing the redhead and hears "woof woof". "That's a dog" he thinks to himself._

_He kicks the second bag containing the brunette and hears "Meow, meow" "Well that must be a cat" he thinks._

_Finally, he kicks the last bag containing the blonde and hears in a slow voice "po...ta...to...es!"_

Mello laughed so hard.

"That's right, Matty, you're a dog!" Then he left still laughing.

Matt ignored Mello and thought, 'Mello can be so stupid like a potato.'

**A/N:** Okay, another one.

Joke source: thejokeyard . com

(There are clean jokes and a LOT OF DIRTY ones. )


	3. Chapter 3

Matt continued his Blonde Joke search, He finally found one:

_One day this guy comes to work at a dildo shop. His boss leaves for the day and puts him in charge of the shop._

_About an hour later a black haired lady comes in and asks "How much for your black dildos?"_

_The guy says "30 bucks"_

_"And how much for your white dildos?" asks the lady._

_Again the man says "30 bucks for the black and 30 bucks for the white"_

_So she takes the black one and leaves._

_A while later a brunette comes in to the store and asks "How much for your white dildos?"_

_The man responds "30 bucks"_

_She asks "And how much for your black dildos?"_

_"30 bucks for the white and 30 bucks for the black" replies the man._

_So she takes the white one leaves._

_About an hour later a blonde walks through the door and asks "How much are your dildos?"_

_The guys says "All our dildos are 30 bucks"_

_Then she looks up behind the man on a shelf and ask "How much for that plaid one?"_

_The man responds "Oh, that one is special. That will cost you $250"_

_The blonde agrees and takes it._

_Later that day the boss come back and asks "So what did you sell today?"_

_The man says "I sold a black dildo, a white dildo , and your thermous flask for $250!"_

_OUCH!_

Then Matt thought, wiping his tears with laughter:

'That's why Mello's bed has blood this morning!'

(That morning, Mello was making Matt a card and cut his finger… )

**A/N:** Okay, another one.

Joke source: thejokeyard . com

(There are clean jokes and a LOT OF DIRTY ones. )


	4. Chapter 4

Matt searched for dirtier jokes this time…

_Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana,_

_Jack got high,  
>pulled down his fly,<br>and asked Jill if she wanna._

_Jill said yes,  
>pulled up her dress,<br>and had a little fun._

_But stupid Jill forgot the pill,  
>and now they have a son<em>

Matt laughed so hard it woke the sleeping blonde.

"Shut up will you?" Mello said.

But he got up anyways and went to the kitchen.

Matt found another joke. Well, this time it isn't so dirty…

_A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I'm hurt all over."_

_"What do you mean?" said the doctor._

_The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even THAT hurts."_

_The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?"_

_"Why yes," she said._

_"I thought so," said the doctor... "You have a sprained finger."_

Then Mello screamed from the kitchen… "Ow!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Okay, another one.

The first one isn't a blonde joke, but I really liked that one, haha

Joke source: thejokeyard . com

(There are clean jokes and a LOT OF DIRTY ones. )


	5. Chapter 5

So Matt was enjoying the jokes. So he searched for more…

_A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman._

_He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"_

_The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door._

_Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor._

"_You rotten bastard, "says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!_

Matt laughed, but not that much. He thought, 'So that's why he still haven't figure out why Near's bed is wet…'

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:**__ Okay, another one._

_Joke source: www. emailajoke .com_


	6. Chapter 6

Mello went outside, and Matt searched ome jokes to pass his time off.

Then he read one:

_**Blondes Interview**_

_Interviewer : Give me the opposite words._

_Blonde : Ok_

_Interviewer : Made in India_

_Blonde : Destroyed in Pakistan_

_Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up_

_Blonde : Bad... Put it Down_

_Interviewer : Maxi Mum_

_Blonde : Mini Dad_

_Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat_

_Blonde : Insufficient! Don't Take my seat_

_Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat_

_Blonde : Clever! Don't take my Seat_

_Interviewer : I say you get out!_

_Blonde : You didn't say I come in_

_Interviewer : I reject you!_

_Blonde : You Appoint me_

_Interviewer : ...!_

Matt didn't laugh and instead waited for Mello to come home.

When Mello came home, Matt said to him:

"Damn it, Mello! You think you can hide from me? I KNOW why you can't get a f**kin' job!"

_**A/N:**__ Okay, another one._

_Joke source: _http:/smilejokes. com/ jokes/ blonde-jokes /blondes-interview. html


	7. Chapter 7

Matt was leaning on a wall down the street, waiting for Mello to come back from Wammy's house.

Then he heard two guys talking:

Guy 1: Wanna hear a blonde joke?

Guy 2: Sure.

Guy: Okay. There was this blonde…

_Blonde: Mom! Brother hanged himself in the bathroom!_

_Mom: (rushed to the bathroom and saw no one there)_

_You b*tch! You're brother didn't hanged himself!_

_Blonde: Just kidding! :D He hanged himself in the bedroom!_

_(Mom rushed into the bedroom and saw his son dead)_

Matt stopped himself from laughing.

Then Mello walked off the bus , panting, and said to Matt, "Matt! L is dead!"

Matt just laughed it off.

"Oh, Mello, you crack me up…"

And Mello just stood there dumbfounded.

**A/N: **

The joke used is originally in Tagalog. (Philippine's national language)

And this is not a blonde joke, but I transferred it.


	8. Chapter 8

One day, Mello was fixing his hair on the mirror because he and Matt was going to have a date.

Since Matt was already finished, he scanned the net and found a joke:

_There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror._

_If you told a lie, it would suck you in._

_One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said: "I think I'm the most beautiful girl on earth" and the mirror sucked her in._

_The next day, a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think I'm the most beautiful girl on earth" and it also sucked her in._

_The next day, a blonde walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said: "I think…" and the mirror sucked her in._

As usual, Matt laughed so hard.

After he turned off the computer, he decided he will go to Mello to tell him that they should go.

But when he walked to the mirror, Mello was gone.

Matt just stood there, speechless.

Meanwhile, Mello is in the bathroom, taking sh*t.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

Sorry for the late update. -_-'

Joke source:


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